What are Interpersonal Skills ?
Interpersonal skills are basically the skills we need to get along with others (e.g. family, friends, work colleagues, acquaintances, etc.). These skills go far beyond just “social niceties” such as being polite and civil.

Interpersonal communication skills include the ability to greet, join in an activity, begin and continue a conversation, resolve conflict effectively (negotiate, compromise, etc.), read social cues, be collaborative and work cooperatively with others.  These require an awareness of many nonverbal factors such as eye contact, facial expression, gesture, and personal space.  Other factors include understanding of humour, language styles for different situations and awareness of tact and how to be subtle.

What are the effects of difficulty with interpersonal skills ?
Children with social skills difficulties often have problems making friends and may be the victims of teasing or bullying. They may be too dominating or too passive when trying to resolve conflict, or when working with others in group projects. In conversation they may introduce irrelevant or inappropriate topics. Some children may interrupt at unsuitable times, or may misunderstand other people’s facial expressions, and therefore make inappropriate comments.  They may misunderstand the humour of others, or use humour incorrectly in some situations.

Adults seeking assistance with interpersonal skills may have similar difficulties reading social cues and effectively initiating and maintaining conversations. They may wish to improve their conversational, networking or negotiating skills for work or social purposes.

Some adults and children with interpersonal skills difficulties have a diagnosis of Autism or Asperger’s Disorder, although many have no specific diagnosis.

Related Terms
Pragmatics, language use, social skills, discourse

Useful Resources

People Skills by Robert Bolton.  (For adults)

Springboard to Social Skills: How parents can help their children from 4 to 6 years by Kerrie Shanahan

It’s So Much Hard Work Being Your Friend: Helping the Child with Learning Disabilities find Social Success by Richard Lavoie

The Unwritten Rules of Friendship: Simple Strategies to Help Your Child Make Friends by Natalie Madorsky Elman and  Eileen Kennedy-Moore

Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me: The Top 25 Friendship Problems and How to Solve Them    by Michele Borba

Raise Your Child's Social IQ: Stepping Stones to People Skills for Kids by Cathi Cohen

Getting on with Others by John Cooper

Useful Websites

http://www.superduperinc.com/handouts/pdfs/105_parentscanhelpsocial.pdf
describes ways to teach social skills to children at home.

PSPAWA Members who work with Interpersonal Skills